#3

People don't understand me. They don't understand the way that I act. They don't get how I can listen until my ears hurt and then listen some more. They don't get how I seem to always have a smile on my face.

They don't get my interests or my knowledge.  "Oh you're smart you know everything right?" Or "look at you with your near-perfect GPA, don't you think your something special." Well excuse me for taking pride in being an excellent student. Yes I know it doesn't get me any more of a job than the next guy, but I'd rather not be scraping by in my classes.

But the most important thing that a lot of people just fail to understand is that I do, in fact, need people to talk to every once and a while. Shocking, I know. There are some times where things just become too much and I really need someone to lend an ear and provide some outside perspective. The problem is, it seems like those I could count on the most either didn't listen, or only half payed attention.

I'm not saying I'm not thankful for those that have listened. They mean more to me than I think they know. But that feeling of abandonment and loneliness from those that have not is still there regardless. It hurts. It's frustrating to say the least.

Then my frustration turns back on myself, as if I've done something wrong to cause those people not to listen. I know it isn't right to think like that but for me it just happens. I resent that about myself. All it ends up turning into is a vicious cycle from which I am unable to get out of.

I wish I was strong enough to break out.